Well I decided to pull myself up by my bootstraps & take some of that advice from my fellow team members. Juanjohn thanks a mil, Terrence wowee man, Hikaru what can I say except Doumiyouji san wa kako ii dewa arimasendeshita. BVA my new name for you is the sensei of love man. My eyes glistened as I read the comments left on my post about my love life gone awry. This is truly THE forum where one can stand with a bare naked heart unashamed.
After reading the posts I rushed to AB in the V & sat there in the parking lot. I blew R's cell phone up with text messages letting her know that I was outside of her work. She rushed outside to find me sitting in my car with Power Ballads Gold blasting. I rolled down my window & she stood outside my door & whispered "what the hell are you doing here?" , "I'm working, can't we talk later when I get off?" I exclaimed "I love you ok!" I have always loved you!" :
"from the first time I saw you I knew that you had that something special that I have been missing my whole life R, can't you see that I'm in love with you?"
It felt as though an enormous weight had been lifted from my shoulders & I began to sob uncontrollably.
She reached out & grabbed my hand & said "I have waited for a whole year to hear those very words Tsuji, I mean Eric"
I looked up and gazed in her eyes & said "we've wasted too much time" I motioned for her to get inside my xterra & we headed to an empty section of the parking lot. We made out for hours. I'm getting chills just thinking about it. To think that I could have saved myself a whole year of heartache & regret if I just would have listened to my heart & had the courage to face the fear that J had instilled in me. If I was to die yesterday I'm sure I would have looked back at my life with regret for not living & loving at my full potential. Thank you, thank you all. I could not have done it without you. Terrance, JuanJohn. Oh, I know what you're all thinking..."great, his jpop related posts will now cease to exist & all we'll hear about is R this & R that." Well I cannot promise that will not be the case guys..... hehe....really arigatou.
Oh, I have had many casual relationships in my day. Not to brag but I know this girl is really something special. How you ask....well remember when I said that R & I "made out for hours", truth is we got a little carried away and uh, well you know. hehe. I knew this was special because this was the first time ever that I actually cried when I climaxed.