Mar 4, 2006

Fart Etiquette

Today was the closest I ever came to drop kicking Hikaru in the throat. We were sitting at my dining room table, I was pounding some grinds from McDonald's & he was just chilling there chit chatting with me about jpop. No sooner do I swallow my last bite of Big Mac when he rips one right there at my dinner table.

I was blowed y'all, I'm like what the eff are you doing? Hikaru has that same stupid look on his grill (Langdon you know what I'm talking about here) he always has when he knows he did something wrong & he's like "what dude I couldn't hold it". An argument ensues.

Hikaru brings up the fact that when I'm chilling at his crib I rip farts constantly. I'm like yeah but I never EVER rip one at your effing dinner table when your eating. My point is he crossed the line today & IF I DID drop kick him in the throat then my actions would have been justified.

(bonus track)
I was giving Fred Wreck a ride home one day & I felt the methane build up in my bowels so I locked the doors & windows on my Xterra & just let her rip. Jesus man he was gagging & his eyes were all watery, some co-workers that were walking by my car saw him, then when they saw me dying of laughter they soon put 2 & 2 together & they start cracking up too. The thing was it was so goddamn funny I was weak from laughter & couldn't muster the strength to press the button to unlock the doors. Poor Fred Wreck.

Is this fart karma coming back to haunt me? I still maintain that farting at someone's dinner table while they're eating is crossing the line & warrants an ass whipping. What do you guys think?

3 comments:

Freefall Jones said...

Dude. I think you're onto it with the fart karma. Do fart things and fart things come back to haunt you.

Hikaru_Doumuoji said...

prrttt! ah, gomen again.

southerncaligirl said...

I agree that farting a the dinner table is a HUGE no-no. I am still trying to convince my husband and son that farting where there is food (dinner table and kitchen) is not cool!