Dec 3, 2006

Effing Cheaters.

Opinions are needed here.

A a couple months ago I hosted a BBQ at Tsuji no Uchi. As part of the festivities I broke out my PS2 on the big screen along with a surefire hit party game, Guitar Hero 1.
To say we had a good time was an understatement, in fact, the people who attended the BBQ who hadn't previously owned a copy of Guitar Hero went out to purchase it shortly thereafter.

Two peeple that bought a copy of the game challenged me to a battle on December 2. I must admit that I had enough confidence in my inner otaku that I would crush these two challengers without too much of a problem.


I show up at my friend's house where the battle was to take place. What I found was that since my BBQ, not only had the challengers been practicing but they had also purchased Guitar Heroes' sequel, Guitar Hero 2 & one of the challengers (challenger #1) had been practicing on GH2 on the HARD difficulty level since obtaining GH2. One of the challengers had been practicing all evening & had warmed up. The other challenger (challenger #2) claimed that although he had practiced since my BBQ he had not warmed up that evening & did not ever play GH2. Ok. Fine.

Without declaring that the battle had started I saw that Sweet child o' mine was included in the song list so I played it on medium difficulty cold with no rehearsal or warm-up. I did finish with a 93% accuracy & a score in the high 90,000.

THEN after seeing my score challenger #2 immediately comes after me & playes the same song scoring a 94% accuracy & points in the low 100,000. Challenger #2 then declares a victory.

WTF? I wasn't even in the battle mindset yet & was just having fun getting a feel for the game warming up? How then can challenger #2 declare victory?
What the fuck ever bro.

I then played a bystander for quite a long time, he seemed to have good knowledge of the game & had practiced on GH2 for the past several weeks. After playing sweet child o' mine once, I was warmed up & got in my "shigoto wa I get it done(tm) mode".

On medium difficulty on songs that the bystander chose I killed him every game. He was a very formidable foe & both of us were able to score 100% accuracy on some songs but my better use of star power seemed to give me the edge.

Challenger #1 then stepped up & wanted to battle me on HARD difficulty which she had been rehearsing & practicing on for months, I advised that in order for me to accept her challenge I would have to be given a week to practicie on HARD with these same song since I did not know the songs on GH2. She scoffed at me so I said ok whatever. let's play. I was able to hang with her & to be honest she won every battle on HARD, but I was able to hang in the same range as her but I feel that I was unfairly challenged. Honestly she should have been able to beat me by far more with the practice she was able to get. By this I conclude that I am the far superior player & if given the week's time to practice on HARD I would have been able to kill her in a battle.

Both challengers claimed victory, it is my personal feeling that it is an empty victory they claim & the only way they are able to beat Tsuji is by resorting to such cowardly & despicable tactics.


Sadly every word I wrote here is true. Although there are Russian spys being poisoned, wars going on, starvation & people dying all over the world I only give a shit about my videogames & JPOP. Ain't America great!


Anonymous said...


but how long did you practice before the first time you beat them on #1?

Whatever..* it does seem like you have more natural ability though :)

*".." <- the Langdon double stop :)

Tsuji Eriku said...

At the BBQ it wasn't a battle, I brought the game out because it is a really fun party game. The two challengers happen to harbor a grudge against me because of my victories against them in other game battles we have taken part in.

And thank you Craig, you are correct, I do have more natural ability than the two challengers, but my natural ability is enhanced by my training which consists of sitting in front of the tv gaming & getting fatter.

In FACT I already knew I was better than them before posting this, I just wanted you to say it too.

Not that I needed confirmation or anything that I was better, I just like it when peaople praise me.

So, thank you.
I appreciate it.
You are a good friend.

I hate those guys.

They will pay.

Mick a.k.a. jinryuichi said...

Ah, I know these type of people. Reminds me of my cousins.

Your challengers are childish. Gloating over victories in this way, is nothing worth to be happy about.

BVA said...

What a candy ass. A real man would take his beating. Go home, practice and then demand a rematch. Getting beat and then crying about it is weak.

Son of Gigan said...

As long as they know they're getting to you, they're going to keep claiming victory. If you beg for a rematch, you won't get it. But keep practicing. When a chance for a rematch arises, destroy the both of them with no remorse. Don't laugh. Don't talk. Don't have fun. Don't give them any quarter at all. Just keep smoking them over and over to the point that they don't even see it as enjoyable anymore. They'll never want to play you again. And you'll be a man again.

Freefall Jones said...

Want to get back at them? Tell them you heard that one of the unlockables on the game is the theme to Mario Bros. --but they have to score 100% six times in a row on Hard playing "Back in Black"...

...tell them you heard that from your friend that works at EGM.

Guillermo Paco Castro Jimenez DelaSantos Reyes Jr. said...

You lost, straight up and down! Doesn't matter how much they won by. Once you and a challenger grabbed the controllers, IT WAS ON! Accept the defeat and move on.

"Ask any racer, any real racer. It doesn't matter if you win by an inch or a mile; winning's winning." --- Vin Diesel.

Tsuji Eriku said...

Hey. Paco. read the article again or I can get someone to translate it into espanol.

Langdon Alger said...

I think it was just a scheme by all of them to humiliate you on there home turf...