Who am I?

I thought I was the greatest boyfriend ever. Expensive clothes, fine meals, Gucci bags, blue diamonds, carte blanche on my credit cards - I gave her the world. But one overcast day ruined it all. I saw them together and it broke my heart.

But will I whimper away like a chump? Hell no. First I'm going to cancel all my accounts, then I'm going to pack up her things--not the expensive things I bought her, mind you (I'm keeping that $3700 lynx coat)... she can leave in the lame ass K-mart clothes I found her in. I can't wait for her to get home so I can chew her cheatin' ass out. I could use some hot chocolate about now.

Who am I?

FJ


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