Japanorama - (B)ape Clip

Sorry to inflict this asshole presenter on you my American brothers (& the rest of the world). But it's the subject matter that drives me to post this:

Silent Hill, AKA Pedophile Paradise

Okay, now that I have Langdon Alger's attention, I'd like to do my very first MOVIE REVIEW for all my fans. Since I am fully aware of the value all of you place on my opinion, this should be a great service to you, as it may keep you from spending your meager paychecks on films that are less fit for consumption than the gobs of butter-flavored popcorn topping that are slowly but surely clogging your arteries and choking you into a premature death. To make my review easier to decipher (especially for those who just feel like scrolling to the bottom to see the final verdict), I've devised a ratings system that is absolutely ironclad. Ignore it at your own peril.

Two Hooks Up = See this movie RIGHT NOW, and punch your girlfriend if she doesn't want to.

One Hook Up = Wait for a matinee or a DVD rental. Then punch your girlfriend.

Two Hooks Down = DO NOT see this movie under any circumstances. If you already have, commit suicide immediately.

Following along? Terrific. Over the weekend, I was lucky enough to receive a free rental coupon from my local Hollywood Video. Not being one to turn down a free anything, I put it to good use. So no, I didn't spend a single nickel to bring you this review. But my TIME is extremely valuable. I mean, why spend two hours of my life watching a rented movie when I could spend it watching something else? But I digress.

The movie I chose was Silent Hill, the 2006 feature based on the classic video game that was so bloodcurdlingly terrifying that I never bothered to play it (of course, I might be persuaded to give it a try with a free coupon; I'm looking at you, Hollywood Video).

Silent Hill begins with a 12 year-old girl on the edge of a cliff screaming at the top of her lungs about a place called - wouldn't you know it - Silent Hill. Upon seeing her, you instantly notice two things: she is remarkably cute, and a remarkably bad actress. Over the next 126 minutes, a bone-chilling tale of inhuman torture, twisted nightmare creatures and grisly retribution unfolds. As the horror grows and the ghastly secrets of the town are untangled, you are invariably drawn back to one single-minded conclusion: that little girl is REALLY cute.

I don't mean to sound like some perverted degenerate or something, but I'm talking fresh-out-of-the-dryer stuffed animal cute here. This is puppy-in-a-rainstorm territory we're in. And in a huge chunk of adorable irony, my future daughter keeps your eyes firmly fixed on the film while simultaneously neutralizing all of the scares that might come from it.

The reason for this is because this little girl (let's call her "Silent Hill Girl" because I can't remember her name) plays a duel role in the story (SPOILER ALERT). Her first character is sweet, wholesome and innocent; her second is a wicked, brutal spirit- the devil incarnate. Her skin is pale, her eyes are wide and demonic and her tattered clothes are soaked in gore. And dammit if she isn't even MORE cuddly than ever.

Sure, I've always been strangely drawn to hideous characters with filthy, matted hair and grimy teeth (why else do you think I hang out with Freefall Jones?), but now I have PHOTOGRAPHIC EVIDENCE to back my outrageous claims. See for yourself the paradox of Silent Hill girl:

Cute...



















CUTER!!!










Cute...













CUTER!!!















Cute...













CUTER!!!



















Aw, isn't that precious? She's all crucified 'n stuff.


















See what I mean????? I AM NOT A FREAK. SHUT UP! Back to the movie. My whole point is that while watching Silent Hill, you can't bring yourself to turn away from the screen, but not because you're paralyzed with fear or frozen in suspense. It's because you just want to pick up this delightful little demon child and push her on a swing, or buy her a 4-piece Chicken McNugget with barbecue sauce, or take her to see The Lion King On Ice - front row center. Sure, she might shank your nutsack with flying barbed wire now and again, but kids will be kids. Didn't we all act up a little when we were young?

As for the rest of the film? Oh yeah, there's a bunch of monsters and fog and things. In conclusion, I give Silent Hill three-and-half stars or whatever kind of symbols I was using. If you have a free rental coupon, it's well worth it. So until next time, I'm Son of Gigan, and I'll see YOU in the "Special Interest" section.

H!P 2007 Calendar Run Down...

wooo man...I don't think I have enough wall space to buy all of these....but I bet one of you out there does..so as always, click the pic to buy...

Namie Clip..

taken from the bonus dvd that was included in Namie's Live Style 2006 tour pamphlet..
video DL

Dance You Bastards!!! Dance Like The Wind!!! Volume 11

and these fauckers are supposed to be protecting the DMZ...

NOT J-Music Clip Of the Week

courtesy of Son of Gigan...

Artist: Menudo
Single: Hold Me

Hold Me video DL

J-Music Clip Of the Week

Artists: PUFFY x Tokyo Ska Paradise Orchestra
Single: Hazumu Rhythm


Hazumu Rhythm video DL

C-ute "Dekkai Uchuu ni Ai ga Aru" perf.

This seems like YODC material because of the church music at the beginning, the Crocodile Hunter's recent demise (in relation to the background), and the strange silence at the end.

Kudos to anyone who can tell me what I <3 PY signifies... :



videoDL

This is for you, Son of Gigan

This is your chance, SoG, to be a party of music history and become...Menudo!

Menudo Entertainment is launching a talent search to find five boys to become the new standard bearers for the most revered musical brand ever to come out of Latin America. The new group will feature a hot young urban / Latin rhythmic sound with songs written and produced by top artists like Frankie J, Pit Bull, Fat Joe, L’il Jon, Luny Tunes and others. The search will begin on September 30th in New York City with auditions hosted by Celia Cruz High School of Music to be held at the Lehman College Theater. From there the auditions will go to Miami, San Juan, Houston, Chicago and Los Angeles. From these auditions and other channels extending to other US cities as well as Mexico, Brazil and other Latin American countries, we will identify as many as 600 talented boys between the ages of 14 and 18 who will compete to be members of the new Menudo.
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And now I leave you with another Menudo video (note the awesome dance moves and stylish clothing. I think all you guys should try to bring this look back!!!)

Hinoi Team Jailbait Subs

Do you still have that Hinoi Team vid we featured a while back:
Now and Forever (dance shot ver.)?

If so try putting this srt file:

_____http://www.sendspace.com/file/aue6ko

in the same folder as it and see if you get my Jailbait Subs.

If not (& you want to) install:

_____VobSub ("VSFilter")

and try again... It should work :P

R.I.P. Steve Irwin

G'day, Crocodile Hunter, g'day.

Best of...Hall & Oates

Came across this link from DJ Z-Trip's website. Some internet dj made a mini-mix of Hall & Oates bestest, most freshest tracks. Here's the tracklisting:

africa

method of modern love

how does it feel to be back

bank on your love

i can't go for that

kiss on my list

your imagination

big kids

mano a mano

hard to be in love with you

private eyes

diddy doo wop (i hear the voices)

head above water - YES

gotta lotta nerve (perfect perfect)

maneater

.

.

...and the link is http://www.waxdj.com/djs/126/

Pic of the Day.."They Look Like Women to Me"..Edition

more Hinoi Team goodness with pics from their latest cd single.

HINOI TEAM

(L-R ) Keika Matsuoka, Hikaru Koyama, Asuka Hinoi and Rina Takenaka

Pic of the Day..."Fan Service"...Edition

their has been a sudden surge of people finding our blog while trying to track down information and pics of the lovely Maria Ozawa..as well as visitors finding us through "googling" some very interesting topics..such as harisu's vagina..but more on that later..so for all you YODC newbies looking for a little taste of Miyabi..this is for you...enjoy..

MARIA OZAWA

Clapping & Stomping

If you already have The Making of Jiriri Kiteru walk on by. If not

SPOILER WARNING.

Y'know I already loved the Jiriri Kiteru dance but to hear them clapping & stomping just brings it another dimension that I, with my sicko tendencies (as Tsuji says :) ), find deeply satisfying... :

http://www.fileden.com/files/4101/stompclap.wmv

Thanks to the G-man for this and all my other YODC clips :) .