Apr 9, 2006

ATTENTION: A hot Asian chick needs your help!

As some of you know (and by "some," I mean "one"), I happen to share employment with a lovely young lady of Chinese descent. Why her nationality is important I don't know, but to avoid confusion, for the rest of my post I'll refer to her as "A." No wait--"B" is much better. No, that might be difficult to remember. I have it--"B6." Hold on, that's the vitamin I take to drive the last remaining ounces of water out of my rock-hard musculature. Let's call her "W."

W is very strongly involved in a business known as "Hug Life." She sells apparel and all the proceeds go to various charities, supporting causes such as the prevention of teen suicide. Why anyone would want to prevent that is beyond me; damn young people. No respect. But I digress.

W and I are not exactly close. In fact, the number of times we've talked is about equal to the number of conversations Langdon Alger has had with a girl in the past year. But she still saw fit to approach me recently and ask, "S.O.G, do you want to buy a shirt?" Of course, I promptly told W "N-O" and went on my merry way. Later on, she was in my office lamenting the fact that she had yet to sell a single shirt. I just couldn't bear to see her in such distress, so I kicked her out of my office and closed the door. But a few days later I had this revelation: "Hey, maybe those punkasses on the blog would like that stuff!"

So from the titanium cockles of the machine in my chest that acts as a heart, I give you the official Hug Life information:

Welcome to the Life!

The mission: to embrace who you are and appreciate the life you've been given, regardless of circumstance. Hug Life serves to remind all of us to focus on what is really important; our friends and families, and all others who share in both the greatest joys and surmountable tribulations that life throws our way!

Proceeds go towards charitable contributions for a variety of great causes including:

* Didi Hirsch Community Mental Health Center. www.didihirsch.org
* Hands On Bay Area. www.handsonbayarea.org
* The Wellness Community. www.thewellnesscommunity.org

And more to come! As the line grows, so will the charitable giving!

Be among the first to rock Hug Life! Buy a shirt, wear it well, and tell people more about the cause when they ask!

And here are the pictures:

Apparently at least one person on this blog is female, so maybe you'd like to "rock" this apparel. Do any of you guys know any females that might be into this? Ah, who am I kidding? Of course you don't. But maybe Terrence Maddox can appease B and C with some Hug Life to get them to stop fighting over him for two seconds.

And as you can see, Hug Life "gear" isn't only for girls; I've already spotted Freefall Jones in the shorts. So even if you don't want any for yourself, try to spread the word.

W sells the clothing from her car at work, and I can pick it up if anyone's interested. But if you don't want to go through me, and I don't blame you for being intimidated, you can contact the company directly at www.huglifeinc.com. In fact, that might be easier since W has a strange habit of avoiding eye contact with me. She's probably intimidated too.

And by the way, anyone who doesn't buy one of these shirts is a vile, disgusting, Hellbound excuse for a human being. And have a happy Easter!


Tsuji Eriku said...

Sono shatsu wa ikura desu ka?

Wonton said...

Wait a minute...You have an office?

Son of Gigan said...

Tsuji, since there is no translator in existence that can decipher what you said, I'll just assume it was "I really want the pink and white baseball T!" I should've known.

Son of Gigan said...

And yes, I do have an office. It houses my regeneration chamber, Freefall Jones dartboard and large stack of multi-colored Post-It notes. Now maybe I can start getting some respect around here. Buy a shirt.

Tsuji Eriku said...

How much!!!!!!!SoG godammit

Son of Gigan said...

It takes the Japanese FIVE words to say "How much?" No wonder nobody knows how to speak that language. Anyway, I believe the shirts are (hold your breath) $20.00 each. It sounds steep, but it's for charity and I only take 40%. Kidding. I don't take anything; it all goes to charity.

Tsuji Eriku said...

How do I get one then, I want a XXL in the Pink for Langdon's belated birthday present hehe, nah for reals though I need to work on my karma so I'll buy one I guess you gotta pick it up for me...the pink one for my bitch would be nice.

Tsuji Eriku said...

Their website is down...so hook it up man.

Son of Gigan said...

I KNOW Alger doesn't wear XXL. But I'll try to talk to W tomorrow. What size does your bitch need?

Tsuji Eriku said...

XXL for them massive titties SoG, nah a M if it's all gravity....