Dec 7, 2007

Hikaru's attempt to "How To" solution....REVISITED

had to repost this cuz its comedic gold...so reminisce and enjoy--Rangudon







Alright folks. I wasn't going to attempt this because I am not a playboy Heffman like our fellow Eriku nor have I had the gauging experience of intricate women like SoG. Plus my writing skills are so so. Hell I don't know why I'm writing this, but a couple of you insisted that I do so here is my:


"How to hook up with japanese women."
(Results may vary)

So you really want to know my opinion on "How to" get with a cool Japanese WOMAN? Notice that I said "Woman" not "child." The demographic for this attempt are japanese women from japan ages 20 and up. First things first. You're going to have to make a few changes. Here are a couple of questions I would like you to answer:

1. Do you listen to ONLY jpop?
2. Do you listen to U15 or younger groups?
3. Do you idolize about young girls U15 and younger(gross bastard)
4. Do you only watch Japanese Dramas?
5. Is your lifestyle Otaku?

If you only listen to just jpop tough luck. Most japanese women listen to American music. Don't forget your musical roots here in America. Though it seems that our music is heading in the wrong direction, there are still some good music that comes out from here. Always keep tabs on what's new in the music scene. If they do listen to Japanese music then it would be in the likes of Koda Kumi, Soulhead, Miliyah Kato, Ken Hirai, Crystal Kay, Bestyo, Ai, etc.

No Morning Musume or any U15 groups! Guaranteed, you will not find a legal japanese chick if you continue to listen to Momusu. I'm not going to front. I liked Momusu and Hello project to a point. I was like a little kid when eriku introduced me to them. There music just felt right. Their music was happy and the girls were cute. Eventually, you will have to get out of that phase and listen to a more mature section of japanese music. No kiddy Jpop music! Trust me on this one.

If you are idolizing about young japanese idols that are U15 then you need some help. Honestly, you need help. That shit will fuck you up if you don't control it. Don't let yourself fall in love with a girl U15. Not only will it fuck up your perception of little girls (gaaggg ugghh gross) it will mess up your entire way of thinking. Your psychological being is at stake. You'll be in denial of what you doing. You know what you are doing is wrong but you continue to do it. If you ever expect to get with a beautiful japanese woman then you're going to have to give up on idolizing little girls. sorry craig.

Watching Japanese Dramas are fine, but if you only watch them and nothing else then we have a problem. Don't limit yourself to just watching J Doramas. If you expect to keep a conversation you'd better get up on recent and old school popular dramas from the states or korean dramas. Japanese women will be flattered that you are watching Jdramas. They will even be excited if you tell them about what's new here in America. So always keep yourself cultured and current with American media.

This is the big one. Are you otaku? Do you look otaku? Is your lifestyle otaku? If you said yes to one of these questions then your going to have to make some slight changes. To many Japanese women, its okashii(weird) for a grown man to have a plentiful array of jpop posters and toys. Video games are tolerable because some like to play video games, but if your room resembles Densha Otoko's room then your chances of meeting or bringing home a beautiful japanese woman are slim. You might be lucky like Densha, but still your chances of hooking up are still slim.

Does your room look like this? If your a kid then its fine, but if you're a freaking grown ass man then we have a problem.

How about your appearance? Are you extremely thin or fat? Here's a tip: better yourself. Try being somewhere in the middle. Workout, run, excersize! Some Japanese girls don't like Japanese guys because they are too thin and don't have any muscles. If you have some muscles then you are half way in buddy! Keep in shape. Do you have some fashion sense? Do you have style? Its always good to have some sort of style. here are some sites to help you out:

http://www.edhardyshop.com/

http://www.metroparkusa.com/

OKAY, now that we've made a couple of changes in your lifestyle. Here are a couple of tips on how to hook up with Japanese women.

•don't know where to look?
i recommend this site. www.tagworld.com. click on the People tab. go to the left hand side and click the country tab. go to japan and do your soul searching there. there are other sites, but you have to pay. I'm not down with that. I'm sure you guys aren't either. there are plenty of japanese girls looking for friends in america. give it a shot! here let me help you get started. here are some real profile pics. click on the pic to see profile.


•personality
if you look great and have a matching personality then your in. if you still have things about yourself you need to work on, I suggest to make some changes or improvements on yourself and your lifestyle. just don't forget who you are. experience a lot of things. experience anything. the stories you gain from your experience make great for conversation.

•have an interest in their culture as well as your own
you can be your gaijin self to a point. just remember to respect their culture and their way of life. show them that you have an interest in their culture. ask them questions. they will be happy to answer your questions the best they can. be knowledgeable about your own culture. i'm sure they'll be interested in hearing about your crazy gaijin lifestyle. tell them about the Hot spots in the place you live. Kindly and jokingly invite them to come down. Who knows, she might just get on the next plane to visit you.

•learn the japanese language
its always good to learn another language. even if your japanese speaking skills aren't as great. japanese women think its cute when you try to speak their language.

•do you know another language other than english and japanese? exploit it!
use your linguistic talents and exploit it. I speak spanish, a little bit of german, mandarin, tagalog, and of course Japanese. If you can't speak another language don't worry. Do you know slang? Negrobonics aka hip hop slang? Da Bay slang? Curse words? If you do, use it!!!! Teach them some slang. Some like that sort of stuff...Really!

•have an interest in the woman that you are trying to get at
find a woman that interests you and is "in your league." -SoG. If you don't know if she's in your league. Find out as much as you can about her. Is she a money hungry chick? Or is she a good wholesome girl who doesn't care whether you are broke and out of a job, but will still love you through hard times.

•find out what interests her(pay attention to her)
hopefully at this point you made a new japanese woman friend. if you're this far keep it up! try finding out what interests her. find out her hobbies, the type of music she listens to, her favorite foods, ask her if she has ever been outside Japan. Who knows you might have something in common. Hey maybe she likes to listen to Morning Musume. If that happens you can disregard everything I have said about U15 girl groups.

•try sending her sweet and creative gifts or something from America(or wherever you are from)
if you have the money send her something sweet, but not expensive! A Cd and some chocolates will be sufficient. if you are short on cash or dead broke then make her a gift. (i.e. make a compiliation music cd. create an e-card. take a photograph of something beautiful.) be creative. use what you already have and create something. utilize your talents. if you sing. sing for her. if you draw. draw something for her. write a poem! write a freakin Haiku!

•call her! text her! AOL Aim her! Skype her!
when you've made some sort of connection with your newly found japanese woman friend from Japan give her a call! I realize that it is expensive to call Japan. Don't fret. There are many ways to keep in touch. You can Text her via cell phone. it doesn't cost much and is easy to do. AIM her! It doesn't cost a thing. Or you can do what I do. I use Skype! Skype is a wonderful tool to use. My girl and I use it all the time. They have a wonderful videophone feature. The service is for free when calling other skype users. I definitely recommend this service to anyone who has a friend in Japan and doesn't want to pay a hefty phone bill after. by keeping in touch you show an interest in her. she will like that and will keep in touch with you for as long as you keep in touch with her.

•make the attempt to visit her in Japan.
once you've made that connection and developed feelings for each other make an attempt to visit her in Japan. It will show her that you care enough to take the time to come and visit her. After that, its butter.

If you really want to get with that wholesome cute Japanese woman then you have to be willing to make some changes in your life then you will see results. Don't be stubborn or bitter about making those changes. If you really want to hook up with a japanese woman then don't present yourself as an otaku. That's the worst thing you can ever do. Nothing is more unattractive to a japanese woman than an otaku. Same goes for those who idolize little girls. When you get out of that stage then you may be able to consider hooking up with a cool japanese chick. If you manage to hook up with a japanese woman remember to pay attention to her. Make her feel special. Make her feel beautiful. I'm not a love doctor, but this is what I know. Japanese girls from Japan will love you if you show a deep affection for them. They are looking for someone who will make them laugh and show them a good time. They are looking for someone who will always be there.

Not all japanese women will give you the time and or day so just keep trying until you find that special one. I'm sure each and one of you will find a hot japanese chick. Don't give up. Make those changes. Also remember that each japanese girl is different and have different interests. I just call it like I see it. So what i say here may not even apply. All I have to say to that is expirement. Expirement. Don't be afraid of rejection. Anyways, I think I wrote more than I should. Let me know what y'all think. If this in anyways helps you get with a cool japanese woman then I've done my job. I'm sure you all have something to say about this. So say what you will YODC bastards! Peace!


3 comments:

Tsuji Eriku said...

all this from a guy who's never had sex in his life.

craig said...

who's bentobeatboxer?

I thought this post had a nice sentiment to it...

beemer said...

This doesn't work.

btw, Densha is cool. lol