Mar 10, 2007

Ghost Rider


Michael "Shakespeare" Carrington is a straight-laced exchange student from England attending Rydell High. When he tries to go on a date with Stephanie, one of the hot-chick Pink Ladies, he unfortunately finds out that Pink Ladies only slut it up for the cool boys in the motorcycle gang, the T-Birds.

So to raise his cool quotient, Michael earns enough money to secretly build his own motorcycle and learn how to become the GREATEST RIDER IN THE UNIVERSE in, like, two days.

Soon enough, his newfound skills are put to the test when he has to save the T-Birds, the Pink Ladies, and some other kids at the bowling alley from Balmundo and the Cycle Lords. Disguised in goggles, a helmet, and black leather outfit, Michael embarrasses Balumundo's gang into gently laying their motorcycles on the ground.

Wanting to maintain his new, cool persona, Michael doesn't reveal himself right away, and instead opts to confidently romance Stephanie with his totally non-masculine motorcycle disguise. Seriously, no shirt with your leather jumpsuit zipped open down to your waist? It's rainin' men.

Sadly, before he could tell Stephanie he was really the mysterious rider, Michael is chased over a cliff by the T-Birds--who are such cockblockers that they'll kill anyone that goes after their women. Bravo. I would do the same thing.

So now Michael is in Biker Heaven, but he makes some kind of deal with God to come back to Earth as the Ghost Rider and avenge his own death.


How does he avenge his death? By riding circles (again) around Balmundo and his gang at the high school's graduation luau. Wait a freakin' minute. He's given a chance at revenge, but doesn't kill the T-Birds? Instead, he JOINS the T-Birds? WTF? You suck Ghost Rider.

4 comments:

craig said...

ROFLMAO

Tsuji Eriku said...

kdfkdzfkz

Wu-san said...

I think its safe to say, the satire you've laid down here has me in stiches...XD

what an absurd character and narrative dynamic...but being more honest, only now to I truly see how brilliant this film was at being utter pants. great stuff!

I'm waiting for the remake, no, seriously, I am. I'm thinking chuck Norris as the lead, he may be getting on now but, his karate and semi-automatic weapon skills would see the T-birds in peices. that or Dick van dyke.

Freefall Jones said...

Wha? Who said I was doing satire? =)