May 15, 2007

Extra Credit: Spider-Man 3

Pic from:

Langdon beat me to the punch. I wanted to review this when it came out...but it's taken me this long to calm down and organzize my thoughts. So, here are my notes (SPOILERS AHEAD!):

--I thought the first third of the movie was pretty good. I was right there lovin' all the Sandman stuff, and the scene where Marko struggles to reform himself for the first time was one of those cool villain-humanizing moments straight out of Batman: The Animated Series.

--Mary Jane and Harry dancing the Twist in the kitchen? What the hell was that? As soon as I heard Chubby Checker hit the chorus, I could also hear Richie Cunningham firing up the motorboat while the Fonz strapped on his waterskiis (and leather jacket).

--And seriously, what was the point of giving Harry amnesia? Just so we could see James Franco act like a retard? Newsflash: that's not acting.

--I think the old dude that played Harry's butler, Bernerd, was half-dead. He really made me appreciate Michael Caine as Alfred in Batman Begins. But Bernerd did have the best unintentionally funny line in the movie, "...I loved your father." (delivered in beautiful deadpan)

--Where was Peter's spider-sense???? It seemed like everyone was able to get the drop on Spider-Man.

--There really wasn't enough of Spider-Man turning bad while wearing the black suit. We couldn't get at least one scene of Spider-Man uncontrollably beating a thug senseless? Instead we get emo-hair Peter Parker in black clothes dancing around? How's that evil? Someone should have popped in one of the dozen or so red kryptonite episodes of Smallville if they wanted to see how to do the old "evil personality" gimmick.

--Not all the emo-Peter scenes were bad, though. The scenes at the Daily Bugle perfectly illustrated how the alien symbiote was slowly bringing out Peter's dark side.

--How was Venom so buff?

--What was up with everyone taking their masks off? This was especially distracting when Venom was doing it randomly. Why did that need to happen?

--And is it just me or did it look like Tobey Maguire didn't bother to get in shape for this one? Nice neck fat, Tobey.

--Finally, for those of you worried about it (looks at Son of Gigan), there was apparently NO fallout from Mary Jane leaving John Jameson at the altar on their wedding day at the end of Spider-Man 2. Not even a mention of that happening.


Langdon Alger said...

were'd that dude get such a small fannypack?...wait a second..THATS NOT A FANNYPACK!!

Craig said...

Aw gawd mye eyes >.<

Tsuji Eriku said...

Hey! That guy's cock n' balls are showing!

Tsuji Eriku said...

Hey! That guy's twig n' berries are showing.