Tales from the Office: The Cheeto!

Mr. Alger has been kind enough to update me (via email) about his day at work on a semi-regular basis. The email subject heading is always You know you're a fat fauck when... with the body of the email explaining how his arch-nemesis annoys the hell out of him. One email in particular explained how his co-worker was shoveling cheetos into his mouth (the co-worker's mouth, not Langdon's mouth) with his right hand, while controlling his mouse with his left hand (and wiping his orange fingers on his pants before using the keyboard). As I askfdjha alsdkf ja skljfdsah ;sadflk j;alkj to myself as I read the email, I felt glad that I did not have to work with this individual.

the lone cheeto that escaped the jaws of death

on closer inspection, an M&M also escaped the bowels of Langdon's arch-nemesis