Aug 21, 2008

The Brand New and Improved SOGmobile

2008 MazdaSpeed3.

Blasting SCANDAL on the iPod.

2.3-liter , 263 hp turborcharged engine. Top speed 155 mph. I've always wanted to be an obnoxious, overbearing, rice-rocket driving Asian guy, and I've finally acheived my dream. Although to cut enough costs to make my payments I'll be living in Freefall Jones's pantry for the next seven years.

Only three things need to be added to the new SOGmobile and it will be complete: tribal bands on the doors and hood, Superman-symbol mudflaps, and a sticker of Calvin peeing on the words "Bin Laden."

WARNING: If you're in the Northern California area and want a car like this, DO NOT go to Team Mazda of Vallejo. They will do their very best to rip you off. Spread the word. The SOGmobile and I will never return to that godforsaken place.

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