Dec 22, 2005

King Kong Vs. Godzilla

As a kid, I thought the battle of the century should have been King Kong going at it with Godzilla. Why did it turn out so wrong? Was it Kong's papier mache face? Was it Godzilla NOT swimming away the winner in the U.S. version? Was it the obvious puppets fighting along the side of a mountain? I'm getting depressed just thinking about it.

Toho really missed the boat on that one. And so did a lot of other people. Here's a round-up of screwy King Kong Vs. Godzilla movie posters from around the world:

This first one apparently has the two monsters not battling over Tokyo, but instead crashing a beach party. And it looks like Godzilla can't tell the difference between King Kong and the broadside of a mountain. Kong even has is hand raised as if to say, "...over here, dude." Also, did Kong go to the same lady that waxed Steve Carrell's chest in The 40-Year Old Virgin?

These two posters aren't even advertising the right movie:

This next one is the most puzzling of all:

The most glaring mistake being that GAMERA the giant turtle is streaking across the bottom of the poster. Secondly, whoever designed this has somehow envisioned Kong as some sort of omniscient "Planet of the Apes" vampire. I don't even think there IS a movie where Gamera fights Drac-gorillas.

As a bonus, I've decided to throw in one of my favorite giant monster posters of all time. It's a foreign poster of the 1976 remake of King Kong (the one with Jessica Lange and Jeff Bridges):

Man, the action in that poster is WAY better than what I saw in the movie. I really don't remember the scene where King Kong is stepping on a ship, choking out a GIANT SHARK in his right hand, AND fighting off a GIANT SNAKE coiled around his left arm.

Who Is Freefall Jones?


Tsuji Eriku said...

Freefall. You are good. I'd gladly follow you to hell.

Tsuji Eriku said...

Those posters are actually ads for some twisted fan fiction out of Germany. Where Jet Jaguar is really Kong & Kong is really Jet Jaguar.

Freefall Jones said...

Wha? Seriously? I knew a unified Germany was a bad idea.

Tsuji Eriku said...

Easy now, I got mad love for them krauts bein' that I'm an anti-dentite and all.

Langdon Alger said...

damn..King Kong kicking the shit out of Anaconda, Jaws and the Titanic?!!..and what the hell is that little dude in the helicopter doing?

Terrence Maddox said...

F'n hilarious posters, man.

Tsuji Eriku said...

I know huh. What's that guy swinging from that helicopter gonna do? Scream out "stop it you guys are ruining everything!"

Terrence Maddox said...

That shark looks sad.

Langdon Alger said...

the shark's probably thinking "Get your paws off me you dirty ape!"