Apr 21, 2008

Sucka Free Torch Relay Protests

Chinese supporting Willie Mays
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Chief Fong's cousin Wang violently pointing at a group of Tibetans

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Pro-Tibetans mean mugging Wang

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Wang's posse: "Liar! Liar! Pants on fire! HaHa ASDLdflkjgSLDK!! Suck on that!"

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New York celebrity superhero Spider-Man swung by with Chinese flag in hand.

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While the majority of the crowd against China were Pro-Tibetans, other groups seized the opportunity to expose the evils of China's government. Groups that enlightened the situations at Darfur, Vietnam and our very own Golden State Warriors were at hand spreading the good word. Too bad none of them had any pamphlets to backup all their rants.

"I mean, Tim Hardaway is my favorite player. Why did he have to say those harmful words!?! exclaimed Trevor Smith, a young Golden State Warriors fan. Dude, the UTEP Two-Step... unfuckwittable! Even "The Glove" himself said that Timmy had the best killa cross-over in the game, better than A.I. I still gotta support my team regardless!"


Trevor and his little brother Bobby: Supporting Tibet and GSW

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Darfur heads rolling deep, like ants to a picnic.

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"I love the smell of napalm in the morning…It smells like…victory."

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After San Francisco, the only US city to host the torch, the relay continues to Argentina. Argentina officials have already begun on multiple torch relay routes to avoid all those crazy protesters.
In China, government officials warned against disruption of the relay as the torch reaches Tibet. "If someone dares to sabotage the torch relay in Tibet and its scaling of Mount Everest, we will seriously punish him and will not be soft handed," said Qiangba Puncog, governor of the Tibetan Autonomous Region. "I will personally bitch slap whoever dares to cause drama. I'll fucken... I'll fucken shit in yo mouth and youtube that shit... I'll fucken... I'll fucken... I'll fucken replace your bones with bamboo...then starve a fucken panda and have him eat you alive!"

(Random shots)

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"Gonnnggggg!" vs. "Mr. Snaggle Tooth"

2 comments:

Samuel Weinstein said...

didn't know spiderman hated china.

Langdon Alger said...

your Daily Bugle press pass was put to good use