Jul 26, 2011

Behind the Blogging: YODC

today we catch up with our favorite Home Depot parking lot regular, Guillermo Paco Castro Jimenez DeLosSantos, Jr.

Shortly after my last post on the blog, I was arrested. I remember that day like it was yesterday. The night before, I had to reinstall the wi-fi in my house due to a power outage. It was late, and after I checked to see if it was working, I was fast asleep. What I forgot to do was password protect that sonuvabitch. My pervert neighbor to take full advantage of the unprotected wi-fi and decided to use it to indulge in his pedophile fantasies.

According to the police records, my neighbor Steve used the screen name "10inchBeLeiber213" as a front to chat with young boys and girls about his admiration of the young Canadian pop star, which would eventually lead to some "adult sexy talk." Five hours later, a young girl using the screen name "<~~~_(((BLAZiaNbuTTerfLY199x)))_~~~>" had copy and pasted the chat session and posted it on her Facebook wall. The following is an excerpt of what transpired:

10inchBeLeiber213: BabyBabyBABY ohhhhhhhh...BabyBabyBABY ohhh YES!
10inchBeLeiber213: Beiber fans in house say "Haaaaay!!!"

<~~~_(((BLAZiaNbuTTerfLY1999)))_~~~>: HAAAAAAAAAYYYY!!! lol

10inchBeLeiber213: "i thoght you'd alwayz be mine... MIIIIIIIIIIINE!!!"

<~~~_(((BLAZiaNbuTTerfLY1999)))_~~~>: Big Justin fan, yeah?!? hehehehe!
Justin rulez CANADA! NexT stop THE WORLd!! lol.

10inchBeLeiber213: I agREE! I would vote 4 him to be PrimE MiniSter of F-U-N!!!

<~~~_(((BLAZiaNbuTTerfLY1999)))_~~~>: COOL!!! I'm NoT even oLD enouGH to VOte, buT I woulD makE it HAPPen! OMG LOL.

10inchBeLeiber213: Yeah THAt is COol. hmmm... btw--HoW OLD r u?

<~~~_(((BLAZiaNbuTTerfLY1999)))_~~~>: My bEE-Day iS Next MonTH. I'll be 13. THIR-TEEN. the BiG One-THREEEeeE!! OMG!

10inchBeLeiber213: yOU're not a tweEn anymorE. "GirL... you'll be A Woman SOooon!" (hehehe)
aNY planz 4 your bIG Day?!?!?

<~~~_(((BLAZiaNbuTTerfLY1999)))_~~~>: WeLL... I REALLY wanT throW a sLUmber partY... Have ALL my BeSties oveR and watCH "NEVER SAY NEVER" all NIght and siNg JUStin songs!! LOLOL

10inchBeLeiber213: COOL! I SIng along 2 hiS musik in MY car ALL the TimE!

<~~~_(((BLAZiaNbuTTerfLY1999)))_~~~>:Uhmmm.. you...you DriVE?

10inchBeLeiber213: YUP! I drive STICK. Wanna Learn?!?... LOL. I can TEAch You!

<~~~_(((BLAZiaNbuTTerfLY1999)))_~~~>: IF I learn how 2 Drive a CAR, We cAN go thru the DRive-THRU @ Mickey DEEZ. LOL

10inchBeLeiber213: DEEZ nUtz!

<~~~_(((BLAZiaNbuTTerfLY1999)))_~~~>:Uh, oh. okkayy =)

10inchBeLeiber213: .........So, Have You HEARd the Kanye and JUStin and Raekwon collaBORE-ATION!?!? it's the BEEZ-NEEZ!!

<~~~_(((BLAZiaNbuTTerfLY1999)))_~~~>:He DID a SOng wth KANye?!? Ewwww...that guys WEirD!!! WhatS a RAEKwon?!?! Does SHe Sing TOO!?

10inchBeLeiber213: Yeah, KanYe dresses like a WEEEirdoH. His favOrite COlors are Hi-liter cOlorS. SMH.
RAeKwon is A RAPPer from Wu-TaNG. He raPS abOUT DrugZ and Kung-Fu and sTufF. He WATched too MANY John WOO filMS LOL! OMGx2.. He's also a CHEF!


10inchBeLeiber213: So, does your BF get annoyeD by thE conStant Beiber music you Listen to?

<~~~_(((BLAZiaNbuTTerfLY1999)))_~~~>: no, I don't havE a BF...JuSTIN IS my BF!!! LOL! He just DOEsn't knOW it YET! hehehehehe!

10inchBeLeiber213: YEAh, I couldn't BE WITh a girl who DIDN't ListEN to The BEIBZ! I PRactice his DANce movez in my Garage. I havE to Drive my CAR outta there, jusT to make r00m! LOL.

<~~~_(((BLAZiaNbuTTerfLY1999)))_~~~>: so....MR. LicenSE, do you Live neaR EAst ShoRE MALL? MayBE you can bring me MCDonald'S SomeTImE! nom nom nom.

10inchBeLeiber213: oh, I can DEFINITELY givE you a HAppy MEal! LOL. aND teach u HOw to Drive STICk! LOLOLOL NOMNOMNOMNOM

<~~~_(((BLAZiaNbuTTerfLY1999)))_~~~>: LOLOLOL you'RE SO silly!

10inchBeLeiber213: No, YOU're SILLY! lol.
ButT seriouSly, When DId you WanNA get somE FrieS. I got SOME SALTY dresSing For your FRIES LOLOLOLOL.

<~~~_(((BLAZiaNbuTTerfLY1999)))_~~~>: uhmm... I'm Not reaLLy supposSEd tO leave my HOUsE and Bus it to THE MALL.

10inchBeLeiber213: but I can Pick YOU uP. I have A CAR, remember? #duh
I can cUM oveR and wE can LIsten to somE RARe Justin SONGS. I haVe his oLD Demos. I evn got a Copy of somE of hiS new Songs. NoT evEN released Yet. My UNcle is an engiNEEr at The sTudio where JUstin records!

<~~~_(((BLAZiaNbuTTerfLY1999)))_~~~>: REALLY?!?! OMG SWEEEET!

10inchBeLeiber213: igot sometHING SWEEEET for you! LOL I can sTOP by and we CAN watch NEVER SAY NEVer on BLU-Ray. It's EVEN Signed by Beibz, my uNCLe hookEd it Up! wheRE do U Live?

<~~~_(((BLAZiaNbuTTerfLY1999)))_~~~>: REALLy?!? cOOl!

10inchBeLeiber213: so where do yOU live?


<~~~_(((BLAZiaNbuTTerfLY1999)))_~~~>: brb.

10inchBeLeiber213: okay... I can seND you ONE of his New SONgs. BUT I CAn't leak eveRYthinG.
It wILL SounD better IN my CAr! I got four 15s" in thA TrunK! LOL!

<~~~_(((BLAZiaNbuTTerfLY1999)))_~~~>:ok, I'm BAck! Canyou Send Me that nEW SOng? I'm DYING to hear some new JUstin! LOL

10inchBeLeiber213: ok... just sent IT! downLOAD it now! OMG!

<~~~_(((BLAZiaNbuTTerfLY1999)))_~~~>: wait, wHAT is thiS File? IT's HUGE! it's taking TOO long! LOL

10inchBeLeiber213: oh it's TOO long AND it's HUGE.! LOL

<~~~_(((BLAZiaNbuTTerfLY1999)))_~~~>: wait, is this a picTURE of your...Your... ewwww GROSS!!! OMG!!! WTF?!?

10inchBeLeiber213: don't acT surpurisEd ... I'm 10inch Beibz!!! LOL.

<~~~_(((BLAZiaNbuTTerfLY1999)))_~~~>: I'm SHowinG MY MOM! SICKO EWWW, GO F--k yourSELF !!!!

10inchBeLeiber213: Show YOUR MOM ... She'LL LOVE it!!! SHE LOVES THE DIIIICK!

<~~~_(((BLAZiaNbuTTerfLY1999)))_~~~>:has logged off 3:45am

10inchBeLeiber213: cunt.

After <~~~_(((BLAZiaNbuTTerfLY1999)))_~~~>:posted the chat session on her FB wall and showed her mom the dick pic, the authorities were called in and they traced the IP address back to my crib. Po-Po showed up while I was cooking breakfast and I was brought in to the local police station for questioning. After several hours of interrogation, I was let go. I was asked to keep my wi-fi unprotected so they can fish out the perp. He struck again and was arrested later that week. Since then, I disabled internet @ my home and vowed to NEVER USE THE INTERNET AGAIN. The End.

Guillermo Paco Castro Jimenez DeLosSantos, Jr.

it brings a smile to my heart when I hear that former YODCers are doing so well after leaving the blog

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